To the woman still waiting for her miracle

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This article was originally published on Today’s The Best Day.

Hi friend!

Maybe you clicked on this article because the title addresses you. Or maybe you clicked on this article because the title addresses a close friend. Or maybe you clicked on this article because you are married to a woman that the title addresses.

Maybe we are friends – maybe we know each other really really well and I know your story and you know mine. Maybe we are besties from my blog – and you’ve been following my journey to become a mom for a few years now. Or maybe we don’t know each other and you are new to this website and new to me – but no matter how you found it, the very fact you clicked on this article, makes me believe that we are going to be really really good friends.

You see, we’re going to be friends because we get each other. We both know how it feels to cry ourselves to sleep. We both know how it feels to long for a baby in our arms. We both know how it feels to hear a woman “hate” being a mom, when we would do pretty much ANYTHING to be one. We both know how it is to fake a smile at a baby shower or to slam our phones off the couch after seeing another baby announcement on Social Media. And we both know how it feels to truly be happy for our friends who get their miracle baby but we still have to wait.

If you are a woman still waiting for your miracle… this is for you.

I write today on this subject with tears in my eyes… no, not just in my eyes, but tears rolling down my cheeks and hitting my keyboard as I type and speak out loud.

To the world I am a mom. Not just a mom, but a pregnant mom, expecting my second child. But before you click away from this article, now knowing that I will soon be a mother of two, I want you to know that it wasn’t…no, that is hasn’t… been easy getting to where I am today. I say “hasn’t” because my journey with infertility is still not over.

Although this is my second baby, this is actually my third pregnancy. I have had one miscarriage… that hurt more than words can describe. I have gone through 9 failed rounds of Clomid. I have had 3 failed IUI procedures. I have had countless surgeries. I have had 1 and a half IVF’s. And I have poked myself hundreds of times with shots and needles all over my body.

waiting-for-miracle

To the woman who is reading this today and is STILL waiting for her miracle, I hope you will remember these seven things that are very close to my heart. Seven things that I have learned from my infertility trial and hope can help you as you continue on your journey to motherhood.

1. YOU ARE STRONG:

I once heard, “The strongest women become the strongest mothers before their children are even conceived.” What you are going through right now, is the HARDEST. It is an awful trial that can break us down and tear us up. It is financially, mentally, physically and emotionally draining.

But I hope you remember that as hard as it is right now – and as horrible as you feel – you are strong. You see, a strong woman is not the one who doesn’t cry. In fact, I am big believer the strongest women in this world DO cry. A strong woman is the one who cries and sheds tears for a little bit and then gets up and fights again and again….and again.

You are strong. And don’t ever forget it.

2. IT IS HARD. IT IS SCARY. IT IS NOT FUN. BUT IT IS WORTH IT

Oh how I PROMISE you that it is worth it. It is worth EVERY tear. EVERY negative pregnant test. EVERY shot. EVERY procedure. EVERY bad day. EVERY emotion. Because if you never try, you will never know.

“It’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you are about to do something really, really brave.”

One of my favorite quotes that I have sitting on my dresser states, “It’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you are about to do something really, really brave.” It’s scary. It is REALLY REALLY scary – putting yourself completely out there, vulnerable to whatever He has in store for you and not knowing what the future holds.

But keep going. It is worth it.

3. TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME:

So often we feel like we need to rush life. We have a timetable that fits with our needs and wants and when things don’t go according to OUR plan – that is when life gets the hardest. When I hit rock bottom just a few weeks before finding out about our miracle baby, I was destroyed. I was heartbroken and found myself falling on my knees BEGGING for help and comfort during an extremely difficult time.

Sometimes things don’t go our way. In fact, doesn’t it feel like more often than not, that is the case?!

I realized that day, to step back and just take life one day at a time. To slow down and breathe the fresh air. To cherish your family. To love your spouse. And to even love yourself.

4. YOU ARE DOING BETTER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE:

Here is the thing. Everyone is different. We all have our own stories and are on our own paths. Although our goals of becoming moms are the same – getting there can {and will} be different. But don’t ever lose sight of who you are! And how amazing you are doing!

Honestly, you are doing a fantastic job. Just where you are right now.

5. THE BEST IS YET TO COME:

I am reminded of the quote, “If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting.” It is really hard to see the big picture. Day after day, wanting something so bad and not receiving it – starts to hurt. And sometimes it hurts harder than you can explain.

“If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting.”

But something GOOD is right around the corner. Something amazing. And if we just keep holding on tight and pushing through, it will continue to get closer and closer.

6. DON’T EVER GIVE UP…NEVER NEVER NEVER:

Great things take time. Don’t you feel like we live in a world that tells us so often to “give up?!” A world that tells us to stop trying and that “it’s just not going to happen.” But I believe if we truly listen, hope whispers to us “try one more time.”

“The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on for so long.”

I have lost hope before. I know how that feels. I know how it feels to completely believe that something is NOT going to happen and that life is just not going to turn around. But I also know how it feels to be told from a spouse to STOP. To stop giving up. To stop losing hope. And to just START believing.

Which leads us to our final reminder.

7. BELIEVE IN MIRACLES:

Miracles happen. I promise and testify with all of my heart that they truly do. As a woman who was told she would not be able to conceive – I am now a mom of two miracles babies.

To the woman who is still waiting for her miracle… PLEASE know that you are not alone.

Know that you can do this. Know that although it takes a lot of time and tears and frustrations and heartache and pain and shots and pills and doctor’s visits and prayers… it will come.

And although it isn’t easy, it is worth it.

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Mehreen Farhan

Blogger. Technology Enthusiast. Community Builder. Book hoarder. #TeamWordpress. Aspiring Moodler. 🚀