[Ramzan, 16] Welcome to Day 16 of our Ramzan Writing Series.
Today I want to talk about Quran’s take on female infertility. Since I am just a student of the Quran, like many of you, I will talk about an ayaah that recently struck me while studying.
Surah Anbiya, ayat 89 and 90:
وَزَكَرِيَّا إِذْ نَادَى رَبَّهُ رَبِّ لَا تَذَرْنِي فَرْدًا وَأَنتَ خَيْرُ الْوَارِثِينَ ﴿٨٩﴾
فَاسْتَجَبْنَا لَهُ وَوَهَبْنَا لَهُ يَحْيَى وَأَصْلَحْنَا لَهُ زَوْجَهُ إِنَّهُمْ كَانُوا يُسَارِعُونَ فِي الْخَيْرَاتِ وَيَدْعُونَنَا رَغَبًا وَرَهَبًا وَكَانُوا لَنَا خَاشِعِينَ ﴿٩٠﴾
And to Zakaria when he called his Lord, O my Lord! Leave not me alone and You are the best inheritor.  Then We responded to his call and bestowed him Yahya and cured his wife for him. Undoubtedly, they used to hurry in good deeds and used to call Us with hope and fear. And they humble themselves before Us. 
Ayah 89 of Surah Anbiya is one that most women learn as a beautiful dua to ask Allah for a righteous child.
Ayah 90 struck me in a very different way. Notice how Allah used the word وَأَصْلَحْنَا (meaning adjusted, corrected, made able) while mentioning Hazrat Zakariya (a.s.)’s wife. The beautiful, powerful Word of Allah has lifted the guilt and responsibility of a woman’s childlessness off her shoulders with just one word. Such is the entirety captured in each word of the Noble Quran!
If you are someone who is having trouble conceiving, or who is blessed after a delay, or someone who lost a child in womb or in birth, today I write this for you.
None of what you are going through or what you went through was your fault. The baby you lost in the womb was lost on the Will Of Allah and not because you didn’t take care of yourself “well enough”. The child that came in your arms with a delay did not come because you corrected some grave mistake you were previously making.
To the woman who is undergoing treatments to conceive, it’s not your fault. Cycle after cycle you see failure and you take it on your heart. It’s not your fault. People say all sorts of things to you, do this, do that, go to that doctor, go to that ‘aalim’, and all sorts of questions too. None of that is your fault. Read the Word Of Allah and tell them it’s Allah’s Command. “He says, be! And it is!”
To the woman who lost her baby in her womb, you were a perfect mother. You could do nothing wrong to lose that baby. Also, you could do nothing to keep that baby from going away. People look down upon you and say, you should have taken care of yourself better. Some even pity at your inability to sustain a pregnancy. Tell them, it is the Will of Allah.
In Surah Anbiya, ayah 90, Allah has beautifully lifted the shame, fear and guilt we burden the women around us with. He says that He made Zakariya’s wife “able” to carry child.
Then why do we hold a woman responsible for not giving the family a healthy child? What can she do? What is her power over anything? It is the same thing as one of us developing a heart disease or any other ailment. If there is no shame attached to any sickness, why do we attach shame and burden to a woman who cannot conceive or loses the child if she does? She is as powerless as you are.
Dear woman, I hope you know what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. That every pill, needle or the physical & emotional hurt is only making you into someone you are meant to be. Allah is teaching you love and compassion by showing you what it means to be human. He humbles you before Himself because He loves you. There will be another day and one day it will be yours. Just hold on till the time is right.
I want to tell you the importance of staying positive. When everything is going wrong in this world, don’t forget that the absolute perfection lies with God and God alone. Expect only good from Him and He will show you goodness. Do not dwindle in your faith nor forget even for a second that the He loves us the best. Just wait for His answer.
He tests us in all kinds of ways. Sometimes He tests us by giving, sometimes by not giving, and sometimes by giving and then taking away.
The Word of Allah will empower us in all our respective tests and trials if only we study it. Don’t just read it, “study” it. Quran will uplift you, make your stand tall and ready to face the world.
If you liked this, then share this ahead. Let’s tear down our wrong sense of judgements.
Do you have something else to add to this? Add in the comments section below.