Home Calling; and a Belonging

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This post was written and shared 2 years ago. Still holds very true.

I never imagined myself to be away from Pakistan. 

Not that I was a naik parveen about it but somehow the thought never crossed my mind. Getting married to Farhan, we never had such plans. I remember when I had to leave Pakistan for the first time, I threw a tantrum (yes I was THAT immature!) about it. It felt worse when everyone responded by exclaiming how wonderful it was, and here I was, having a meltdown on seeing my life change in almost every possible way.

Enter the expat life.

The first time I went for kitchen shopping with Farhan, I couldn’t decide what I needed. I was a classic “phhoharr” despite constant urges from my mother to “kuch seekh lo, shaadi ke baad kya karogi??” And here I was, finally realizing and wishing I would have listened to her. So that night, ladies, I left shopping midway, went home because everything was new and I couldn’t make sense of anything, and well, I didn’t even know where to start or what I needed. Which pot or plate or spoon. I was utterly clueless. 

I repeat: I was a classic “phhohar”.

Slowly and gradually, somewhere between all the trying and failing, somewhere between being shy to being used to meeting complete strangers and befriending them in the first five minutes that they were in my life, we grew up.

We grew up pretty fast.

And among so many things that we realized about ourselves and the sorts, was the longing for our own home: we can go as far as we can, try to settle, try to blend, try to act and pretend, we will always have that special place in our hearts for the place we called “Pakistan”.

And then another memory came back: when I was very young, I just loved the sound of “Pakistan” on my lips. Somehow I found it very handsome (don’t ask me why, kids have crazy logic!) I loved the Pakistani map and would draw it over and over copying it from an atlas. 

It’s funny how when you’re young you see the world in a very clear way, but in a way that’s unique to you and only you. At some point you start recollecting all the funny ways you saw things and then you realize may be you were wiser then.

The one memory that constantly clings to us is the love for our home. 7 years and counting, I grow more close to Pakistan with every passing day. 

May Allah protect our homeland, and bless it with everything good. May Pakistan continue to grow and blossom, just like it has done so despite all the setbacks. Ameen.

Dil Dil Pakistan!

Jaan jaan Pakistan! 🇵🇰

Mehreen Farhan

Blogger. Technology Enthusiast. Community Builder. Book hoarder. #TeamWordpress. Aspiring Moodler. 🚀

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