So you’re not a pet person. You always have that one friend who feels passionately about animals, is probably a pet owner herself and will reprimand you occasionally for not being emphatic enough. Don’t you just hate it when people mistake you for a cruel animal hater who doesn’t care enough, when all you really are is someone who is just scared to go near them.
If you’re someone like that, here’s all of those crazy reasons what pet people get wrong about you, for no reason at all.
1 – They fail to understand why their pet doesn’t amuse you ten minutes into your meeting them.
Your pet-person-friend will fail to understand why their pet doesn’t amuse you ten minutes into your meeting them and constantly hearing about them. For them, it’s their baby and they love to tell others about their antics. But anything after ten minutes gets boring and we tend to zone out. You can’t blame us for our lack of interest, it’s just that we aren’t built like that. Anything after ten minutes is a torture. Please. Understand. Be reasonable.
2 – To ask or not to ask; it’s always a mystery
Your pet-person-friend will also make mental notes about the times you didn’t ask about their baby and when you do ask, get ready for some mild sarcasm on the line of how on earth did you care to ask about them? * You: Insert emoticon of man banging his head against the wall *
3 – Yes we love animals, but only from a distance, okay?
A pet-person-friend will not understand why you jump and shriek every time their pet suddenly appears at your feet or jumps on your lap from somewhere. Yes we love animals, but only from a distance, okay? Is that too hard to understand? Yes, your animal is a loving, caring being, and it’s amazing! But… our phobia… is… there… can’t you see?
4 – How do you explain why you cannot keep their animal with you while they are on vacation?
You explain how you have no inkling of how animals are. Yes, there is always a first time, no, not everyone can handle it. Correction: not everyone *wants to handle it. Free life. Open choices. Equal rights. Remember?
5 – “Why don’t you have a pet?”
“So I can do whatever the eff I want without having to worry about a living being who was basically born free and is actually in captivity in my house and who now I have to keep and look after like I would a real baby blah blah… So if I’m a free woman with no kids and that animal was born free and should be free, why the hassle? Everyone’s happy!”
6 – Your pet-person-friend will also feel offended if some non-pet-person points out that having animals at home is a sort of filth.
Desi soch. Well, no it isn’t. If I love my pet, I’ll love everything about it. If I would rather not have a pet due to such issues, well, my pet-person-friend can’t have an issue with that either. You can choose how you want things to be and I can choose how things on my end should be. No judgements. Simple.
7 – They don’t know you need to clean up afterwards
Mentally face-palming yourself any time your pet-person-friend brings their pet over at your place and how you make mental notes on the furniture you have to clean afterwards. Then again, your choice and my choice. You can’t feel offended.
8 – You’re the best, no, we will let you be the best and be second best ourselves! Teehee!
Lastly, to all the pet-person-friends, you’re amazing people with amazing hearts who welcome these adorable creatures in your homes, but just as you would not want to be judged for owning a pet, we don’t want to be judged either. Needless to say, you guys restore our faith in humanity lulz.