Categories: Opinion

Mehreen Farhan

That’s an understatement. Especially if you are a woman.

The greatest happiness you can hope to attain is by making someone other than yourself happy. The feeling sort of multiplies. Heart reaches heart. Happiness hangs in the air like music. Everything seems bright with this very personal festivity.

But it’s not easily done.

Heart reaching heart requires a lot of effort, a little time and sometimes a fair dose of patience. You have to be able to give part of yourself away each time you make that leap. Giving yourself away isn’t always fun; it’s difficult at times. It takes courage to love someone to the point that your whole life revolves around them; your dreams become replaced by their dreams, your life goals change. And you do it all in the name of love. You literally give that person the power to make or break you. You have been enslaved by your own will to love the person. You honour your wedding vows each and everyday. You relive the commitment you made years back because ever since that day, whatever you are doing and whatever you will do henceforth will be like saying, I meant what I said! So, basically you make a decision once and you keep proving its validity for the rest of your life.

Just like with everything else in life, being happy and grateful takes time and energy. As for love, it happens every day. It happens all over again every time you think you’ve had it but you realise what you’ve shared with the person is amazing, you slump back, let your mind go back to your cherished moments and poof! you are in love again. Love is a choice of sticking around, of being there no matter what, of being side by side, and sometimes, staying in the background.

But love is hard and hey, no one said it would be easy. As a woman you might be required to give more, way more than your significant other. Women are amazing creatures. God created them with physical and emotional endurance way more than that of a man. Physically, she can withstand the ultimate painful experience of childbirth. Emotionally, she can be anything her man needs. Partner, friend, advisor. She will be with you but never ahead of you because she wants you to lead the way. She will also be behind you at times, without you even noticing it. It kills her but she will do it because she loves unconditionally. She will be strong despite knowing that you won’t always need her.

And so, she will often want to take a break and regain her energy because love demands too much from her. Whether it is her significant other or her children… they will at some point deplete her of her ability to get up and going. Love is hard on her. It is exhaustive. She will question herself what’s for her in all this, and she will do so repeatedly. But the minute she sees you or her children, she gets her answer. And honestly, she would gladly do it all over again.

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