Categories: Opinion

Mehreen Farhan

How many times have you faced making a decision that was hard in nature, yet very much straight forward in logic and reason? Be it a hard thing to decide over or an easy one. A lot of how we decide is affected by the people around us, family, circumstances and fears, real or unreal. The basic key is to taking it easy, but how? Let’s explore this.

Stop listening to everyone:

Many people will give you unsolicited advice, out of concern, out of curiosity, or simply out of needing to say something, the know-it-alls. Their intentions may not be bad in the first place, but what they are doing to you is giving you some fifty more ideas you can certainly do without when the matter happens to be logically simple.

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Listen to what they say but don’t feel obliged to follow everything you hear. Prioritize your close ones and who are affected by the matter in the same way or closely the same way as you. Decide who really matter. That will give you an idea of whether or not you should be listening to a certain group or not and how much should you be minding them.

Keep emotions under a check:

Emotions lead to complications while being insensitive is also not the solution. A balance of both emotion and logic can ensure you can make the best possible decision without any future regrets. While presence of mind is most important in making long lasting decisions, having compassion for the people around you is not something you should completely ignore. Can you live with a possible regret forever? Then make an effort to find that balance between head and heart. Ask for divine help; faith is always rewarded.

Don’t over speculate:

I think too much, so much that eventually I give up trying to come to a conclusion in my head. Thinking well over a problem or matter is good. When you do, don’t let your fears and assumptions cloud your mind. Keep a clear mind. If you find yourself fighting off assumptions that are actually mere creations of your own mind, keep exercising that. Push your mind to create all possible scenarios and see them through to the end. See how each result affects you and what best suits you and those around you. If you are find it difficult to keep your peace of mind while doing that, take a break, do something you like or some favorite hobby, go for a short walk or just take a nap and rest your mind. Resume when you feel better. Take a paper and pen in hand and start writing all things that come to your mind. Make notes of how each point plays a part in the bigger picture, cut, cross, add everything that’s on your mind. It’s a good way to see the points in an almost visual way.

You can’t please everybody:

Your final decision might eventually hurt some people around you. It’s for you to decide how much of your decision is going to be compromised when you want to accommodate others.

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In most cases, you might want to look at it this way: everyone has his or her own life. They will be there for you when you need guidance and they will be concerned for you to make the right choices for yourself. But at the end of the day, they are living out their own life and you have to live yours. Have a firm heart. They might get hurt, but not for long. When, eventually, they see your decision was right for you, they will be content and won’t be hurt anymore. So don’t let this factor budge you off course during your thought process. People who love you will always understand.

You don’t have to have everything your way:

Life’s not fair, face it. What you can do about it is to mold yourself according to circumstances thrown at you and try to make the most of them. But the best thing you can do is be happy about however it is. Stop waiting for a big happiness to come knocking at your door. If you do that you might end up waiting for life. Happiness is scattered all around us, in the smallest, strangest, quietest places. It takes an appreciative eye and an open heart to find it. True your grief must be great, but there are so many things left to thankful for. Take each day as it comes. God makes up for any injustice in life by giving you more of something else. Keep the faith! Don’t let the prospect of a future grief dampen your spirits today when you should be making a decision very practically.

I do envy people who can make decisions at the spur of the moment and stick to them like it was the best decision of their life. You cannot be expected to remain on your decision if you keep thinking over it once it is made. Do all the thinking once and for all, and once the decision is made, don’t re-evaluate its correctness. It’s past that time now. Practical life is all about making decisions and when you have kids, it just becomes a part of your everyday life. We should learn to decide for ourselves rather than have someone else think for us and control our lives. Good luck!


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